Blog 6

Although I agree with Gatto on some of the problems with the school system,
I disagree with a lot of the other points he makes in his article. First off, I do not agree that the school system is unnecessary. I think that it would have been a better argument if Gatto suggested that the school system needed reform rather than questioning its whole existence. I believe that it just needs to be reformed for the benefit of the students as well as the teachers. Gatto makes a statement implying that he trusts home schooling to be as efficient as the public school system, but he fails to back this argument up. He provides no proof in comparing the intelligence or even the level of literacy of people whom have been home-schooled to people educated in the questioned school system. Also, I disagree that this does not make for a good argument because if the school system did not exist, not everybody would have the opportunity to be home-schooled. On the other hand public schools allow for everyone to have an equal opportunity to receive a formal education. Also, if we were to do away with the school system, I believe the literacy rates would drop and less people would even get any education at all which, in turn, would lead to higher unemployment rates and other social problems.

1.This is an important paragraph because it starts the transition from where I agreed with Gatto to where I disagreed with Gatto. Also because one of my peers review mentioned that this part of my paper does not give much information or opinion.
2. The main point of this paragraph is that I disagree with Gatto that the school system is unnecessary. It shows why I feel the school system is still necessary even though it does need some reform.
3. This main point is stated in the beginning of the paragraph; more specifically: in the second sentence of the paragraph.

Main Point: I disagree with Gatto that the school system is unnecessary.

I agree with Gatto that the school system needs some reforms, but I disagree that the school system is unnecessary. The school system needs to be reformed to make sure that the students are learning better. For example, teaching methods could be improved to make it fun for the students and in turn, help them learn. To suggest that the school system is unnecessary though is going too far. I feel that the school system is still necessary even though it is not perfect. If the school system that we have today did not exist, not everyone would have the opportunity and the resources to be educated by home-schooling because you have to have someone that will be there to educate you on a regular basis and you might have to purchase required textbooks. The public school system on the other hand, provides an opportunity for everyone to receive a decent education. Plus, Gatto seems to suggest that home-schooling does a better job of educating than the public school system, but he does not provide proof for this. He does not provide a comparison of students educated by home-schooling and students educated by the public school system. There is no measure provided in his article to prove that home-schooled students are more or even equally intelligent as students in the public schools. Also I believe that if the school system did not exist then there would be a chain of bad consequences. For example, if the school system did not exist, some would not have an opportunity for a formal education. This would cause the literacy rates to decrease and unemployment to rise. All these things could also lead to other social and economic problems.

After comparing my original paragraph to the new one, I see that I gave more detail and explanation in the second one. For example, I discussed why not everyone might have the opportunity and resources to be home-schooled. The second paragraph also seems more organized than the first. What I have learned that might help me revise my original is that I could use more detail and explain my thoughts with "how?" and "why?"